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 WoT News-Update 1 
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Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:31 am
Posts: 246
Location: Fareham UK
Friends, Romans, Dingers, lend me your ears.......
As you will be aware, FTR jumped ship to AW. I for one won't mourn his passing. He had the charisma of a pair of my pants after a sixty minute rowing session. But he did provide tit bits of information. As such, someone called Rita is now running a blog. I must tell you now, that Rita is in fact the alter-ego of Serb_B himself; one which he uses on weekend trips to Odessa where he trawls seedy waterfront bars looking for Romanian cabin boys to abuse with a spiked radish he calls 'Ivan'.
However, following some research, and the abduction of his child Analishka (couldn't hear properly because of the gaffa tape over his mouth), we have a WoT dev in our pocket. I have no doubt of the veracity of the information he provides, since his child is currently in a remote barn in Cornwall, strapped naked to a life size cardboard cutout of a famous child abusing tv personality (a method known in the CIA as Saville Boarding), whilst being stared at lustfully by a troop of local Morris Dancers chanting "Oh Dear Mother what a fool I've been"....
So, like the child, some freshly shaven news bites.....
1) The super test of a new Russian premium tank, the IS30, is nearly complete. Armed with four SSN-22 Shipwreck missiles, a twin 130mm turret, four AKS30 CIWS, and crewed by Chuck Norris (who likes his meat so rare, he only eats unicorns), it will retail in the Soviet Union only, for 9000000 Rubles (or€29). No pictures yet-it has a cloaking device.
2) The WoT Man Of The Year Award, despite publicity, received only one vote, that being from Garb_The_Weak. So the winner is Garbad_The_Weak. Log on to his twitch channel, and you'll receive a signed photo of him disappearing up his own arsehole.
3) This weekend, the European Community in WoT will celebrate with specials relating to International Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual and Transgender Day. Log on and you receive a signed photo of this guy........


http://www.standard.co.uk/news/standard ... lery&ino=5

NA and SEA servers get a free IS8 if you can be arsed to play,instead of being down the pub you throbbers........
4) The new map Channel Tunnel is currently in test. It offers 'unrivalled opportunities for manouvre, so long as it's backwards or forwards'. Good Job.

Well, that's it for the moment. This info is gen dit no shit. My source knows that if incorrect, I will hand his child over to a daytime ITV weather presenter for further questioning and forced consumption of Werthers Originals.

NB Made myself laugh typing this, and a bit of wee came out.......

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Last edited by BERLIN_19451945! on Wed Mar 18, 2015 3:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Mar 17, 2015 2:27 pm
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I have that photo pasted to my ceiling mirror already :(

You need some news at ten Bongs in between each statement to underline the tension

I can see we are going to be the best informed clen very soon ;)

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Tue Mar 17, 2015 2:36 pm
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I miss Garbad.. His debonair arrogance made my dangly parts all non-dangly..

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Tue Mar 17, 2015 2:41 pm
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BERLIN_19451945! wrote:
NB Made myself laugh typing this, and a bit of wee came out.......


I had that too.. But in my case it's just age catching up on me..

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Tue Mar 17, 2015 2:43 pm
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